Pier is certain everyone is staring at her.

Uneasily, she looks about the mall. She normally comes on Sundays because the mall isn't too crowded at this time. Only today it is. She catches looks from people as they pass her. Sometimes an outright stare; others give her a second look, their surprise evident.

It is her eyes. That pale blue, just like limpid water. The effect is quite startling. Sometimes, she stares at herself in the mirror, wondering if people can see right through them.

Inside her.

A shudder dances down her spine, and she quickly drops her gaze to her feet. It is much safer that way.

"Hey!" A voice startles her. "Watch it! What's wrong with you? Idiot!" The voice, too angry for the circumstances, belongs to a man with a dour face. He glares at her as if she had stolen his most prized possession.

Pier jerks to one side, nearly losing her balance as she steps around him. But she is still too close, and the darkness of his anger brushes her.

Automatically, she rubs at her arm, to shake it off. But her mother's years of anger have left a stain, and the man's is drawn to it.

It is a stain she thinks will be there forever.

She ducks her head down again and heads for the store she always visits. Her purse is a familiar, comforting presence, banging against her hip. As she always does, Pier stops in front of a window to look. On the other side of the transparent barrier is a display case of jewelry.

Pier leans down to look. There are watches, hands ticking off the wrong time; pendants on impossibly thin chains; and rings of gold with sparkling diamonds.

She catches the reflection in the glass of someone walking past and jolts up automatically. She is suddenly, fleetingly, in the past, a child being tugged along by a stern hand.

"Don't even bother. You can't have anything anyway."

Then, just as suddenly, she is back into the present. Back into her adult body.

And there is a man standing on the other side of the transparent barrier, smiling at her.

Gesturing at her to come inside. Inviting her.

A shiver finds her spine. Though this time it is one of excitement. Before she has time to let her mind make the decision, her feet carry her into the store and deposit her on a thick beige carpet.

The man approaches her. He is attractive man, more pretty than handsome, with the extra weight that comes after forty.

"I see you out there all the time." A smile lightly touches his lips. "I thought I'd offer an invitation."

Pier flushes. She hadn't realized she'd been that obvious.

"Come on. Let me show you some of my favorite pieces."

She could do this. But her mother's dead voice echoes in her ears, telling her of all the things she couldn't have. Always a reason. The "maybe laters" always became never.

The man's hazel eyes meets hers as he slides open the back of the display case. "You don't wear jewelry much, do you?"

Pier laughs nervously. "It shows?"

His nod is accompanied by a non-committal "Mmm." But he doesn't say anything else. Wise man.

Instead, he pulls out a bracelet of yellow and white gold woven in a herringbone pattern.

Pier reaches for it, then stops, hesitating. She is certain she'll break it.

The man smiles at her encouragingly. "Go ahead."

Still, she hestitates.

"You won't break it. Wait, here, let me put it on you."

His fingers look too big to work with something so delicate, but they deftly fasten the bracelet about her wrist. The gold is cool against Pier's skin at first, but it warms almost immediately. She runs her fingers along the thin metal, feeling the texture.

"It looks so fragile," she whispers. "Are you sure it won't break?"

"No. It's actually very sturdy. This is a fine piece of jewelry."

Pier looks at it, upon her wrist. It feels very strange, as if it is something that shouldn't be there. As if she is somehow doing something wrong by even looking at it.

But that is her mother talking, and her mother is long gone.

What did she want to do?

A sparkle of blue catches her eye then, and she is drawn to it. "Can I see that?"

The man smiles approvingly. "The topaz. That just came in this morning. You have excellent taste."

He displays it over the back of his hand. Suspended only by a thin gold chain, the blue teardrop looks ready to plunge down a waiting cheek.

"Here," the man says. "Let me put it on."

Pier turns to allow the man to fasten the necklace around her throat. The topaz settles right into the notch at the base of her throat. As if it is made for her.

Pier bends to look at herself in the mirror.

"It’s the same color as my eyes," she whispers. She turns a bit, displaying the topaz. It looks good, fastened at her throat. It really does.

She swallows, her mouth suddenly dry, as she realizes that she can do what she wants. There is no one to tell her she can't.

She is hardly aware that she's spoken. "How much?" And even if the price is too high, it doesn't matter.

* * *

Pier is certain everyone is staring at her.

Uneasily, Pier starts to look around the mall. But then she catches herself. Stiffening her spine, she lifts her chin. Perhaps almost defiantly.

She will not look away. Not ever again.

© 2002 Linda Adams

Linda Adams has been published in The Toastmaster, The Plaza, The Potomac Review, and The Writer's Manual. She also has an article being published in the upcoming anthology, "Let Us Not Forget." For more information about Adams and her work go to: http://www.hackman-adams.com