Angry Words

I don't even remember what it was about, anymore. Something stupid, most likely. Something I probably started. I was in a bad mood all day today, and I guess I just took it out on her. I'm sure I thought I was justified at the time. Some of the things I said...Jesus Christ, what was I thinking?

It's too late now, though. Nothing is going to change what was said, and what the results of those hasty words were. I finished up with some smartass remark or another, walked out of the house, jerked my car door open, and now I'll never see her again.

I remember, way back when we first started dating, that I promised myself to always leave her smiling. Hell, usually when we fight, I still manage to at least try to honor that promise. Even if it's a sardonic smile, a mocking one...it's still beautiful.

Does she think it's her fault? Is she going to sit on the bed that we slept in last night and wonder if something she said, something she did, would have changed things?

God, please don't let her think that. Please.

I finally dredge up enough strength to open my eyes. People are hovering around me, dressed in pale green. I've got something covering my nose and mouth. My head...it hurts, but there's this numb, cold spot at the top. Every now and again, my vision doubles and trebles, and it's getting kind of fuzzy at the edges. People are talking, but I can't understand them. They look scared. I can't seem to move my arms or legs.

I don't want to think about that right now.

I'll just close my eyes and think about how her face looks when she smiles.

© 2001 Justin Azevedo