On Improving Dialogue, Part Three
by Pamela Kock
Originally published at themestream.com
Jane shrugged. "I don't know. I'm still having too much trouble with
dialogue. It doesn't feel natural to me."
"Well," sighed Joe, "I can give you an exercise to help practice writing
it."
Jane listened eagerly. What would he suggest? Perhaps he'd ask her on a
date?
"Come over to my place tomorrow night," Joe said. "I'll rent a couple of
movies. You bring the popcorn, and don't forget your notebook."
Jane blushed, and nodded. "All right," she said. "If you think it'll help my
writing."
"Well, I'm going to be late to class," said Joe, standing up. He picked up
his backpack. "See you tomorrow." He reached for her notebook, wrote his
address, and left the room.
Jane grinned and clapped her hands with anticipation. Was this a date, or
merely a tutoring session? It didn't matter. She'd make it count, either
way.
Finally, the evening approached. Jane had spent an hour carefully applying
makeup and curling her hair in anticipation of her private encounter with
Joe. He was so handsome! Such lovely blue eyes, and most importantly, he was
a terrific writer. Joe saw promise in Jane's work, and that was quite an
aphrodisiac. She'd read some of his pieces and nearly swooned at the talent
he possessed.
Jane nervously knocked on the door. Joe answered, dressed in a tight gray
T-shirt and blue jeans.
"Come on in," he said with a grin.
"I brought popcorn," she said.
"Great," said Joe. "I'll put it in the microwave now."
Jane sat on Joe's fuzzy green sofa and studied the room. It was nearly bare,
but for the large TV and a few framed movie posters.
"You're a movie buff?" she asked.
"Kind of," he answered. "I like to study them. See how the plot and dialogue
are structured. I want to try my hand at screenwriting someday."
"What are we watching tonight?"
"The Little Mermaid," he answered.
"You're kidding!"
"Nope." He popped in the tape, and handed her a bowl of popcorn. "Get out
your notebook. You're going to write."
Joe held the remote in his hand. "I'm going to play the tape for a while,
then pause it. You're going to write the dialogue as it happens in the
movie."
"I see," she said, incredulously. "Why this one?"
"It's simple. The dialogue is easy to follow. Later, we'll progress to
another movie, ‘Sleeping With The Enemy.'"
"You want me to write everything that happens in the movie?"
"No," Joe said. "Just the dialogue. Don't worry about writing descriptions
or narrative. You're already good at that."
For the rest of the evening, Jane wrote feverishly every word that Ariel,
King Triton, Sebastian, Flounder, Ursula, and Prince Eric uttered. Later,
she documented the speech of Julia Roberts. It was tiring, but she had to
admit, the assignment was enlightening.
"Nice work," said Joe, sliding his arm around her.
"It's getting late," Jane said with a yawn.
"I know. Shall we write a story of our own?"
"Uh…what do you mean by that?"
"How are you," he whispered, "at writing love scenes?"
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